Understanding Self Esteem

Halle Berry has been known as the sexiest woman alive and is considered to be one of the most beautiful women in the world. However, she has said many times that she suffers with self esteem issues. Personally, I stand for anyone who knows their self and does not live in denial about issues that affect their life. People who live in truth!

No judgement zone here on my blog!!


For some reason, many people associate how you look with self esteem. That’s the most ignorant assumption, thought, or statement anyone can ever make.

Self esteem is confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; it’s self-respect. Nothing in the definition about how a person looks. Both men and women suffer with self esteem issues.

In one of my favorite articles about Halle Berry and self esteem READ HERE She made some powerful statements about self esteem that resonated with me over the years. Halle states:

Just because you see my face doesn’t mean you see me. A person’s self-esteem has nothing to do with how she looks. If it’s true that I’m beautiful. I’m proof of that. Self-esteem comes from who you have in your life. How you were raised. What you struggled with as a child. ~Halle Berry

Growing up and all through my adult life, people have called me pretty. I humbly appreciate that, but they just see my face. People have never seen me the person. People will judge your life based on how you look.

Growing up as child, I grew up with a strong, loving, single mom, I never had a father. I was a fatherless child. My father was never a part of my life, never took care or provided anything for me. I have struggled with that, and just recently came into acceptance, that I will never have a father who is a part of my life. Hard pill to swallow but I finally got it down.

Me and my mom 1977

I never had any male direction as a child or love which caused me to look and yearn for love my entire life. I was always looking for that father figure that missing link in my life.

That missing link laid down the foundation for many failed relationships for years to come. Which has caused me pain and suffering. With many people always questioning why about some life choices?

Constant questions, which I didn’t mind because these people only saw my face they never actually saw me. No one understood my actions or behaviors but me. I entered my first relationship at 13(just a kid) which lasted 10 years. He actually taught me how to drive, the principals of money, purchased me jewelry, brought me flowers all the things a father should do but it was my man who was showing me; Not my father! I often wonder how my life would have been if he was in my life.

Going through so many trials in life you look to your friends. I had a friend, (who actually wasn’t a friend) just always making my insecurities I had about looks, which made me feel worse, I was struggling with other things in life not looks. But for some people, they have to make you feel bad about yourself or bring you down to give themselves a boost. I have forgiven her because as the adult I am now, I recognize it was her with many issues, that she still fail to realize and still suffer from today.

The kind of people that you have in your life is essential for growth and high self esteem. Having people in your life who criticize and are judgmental gets you no where fast.

You can meet someone tomorrow , who has better intentions than someone you have known your entire life~Unknown

Having family members who see a need and don’t support creates animosity. (The family dynamic in America has always been different to me.) Honestly, I just don’t get it.

Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and love you no matter what.

As of today, I have weathered the storm I persevered. I don’t suffer self esteem issues as I did. I have came into a place of acceptance and love of self. It wasn’t easy, but I deserve the best life has to offer.

Always remember you are not your circumstances.

Understanding now that self esteem does not have anything to do with looks. What are your thoughts on self esteem?

Comment Below

Photo Credit: Google Image

6 thoughts on “Understanding Self Esteem

  1. Each day you keep writing amazing and awesome posts that I can connect with. Self-esteem has nothing to do with looks. As i once stated before in one of your posts, low self-esteem is one of the things I’ve been battling for many years and I’m still a work in progress. Each day I put my confidence in God and this has been of help. Wonderful post Shawn. Keep up the wonderful work. You are a superwoman

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bukola, thank you so much. It really means a lot coming from you. 💗I understand, I struggle with self esteem issues, I am a work in progress myself. I just wanted to educate some folks on the association that self esteem has to do with looks. The only person in the life to rely on is God he will make a way. 💗

      Liked by 1 person

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