Know The Red Flags-Characteristics of a Domestic Violence Abuser

Always watch for red flags. If it doesn’t seem right. It isn’t right. Trust your intuition.

The beginning of all relationships, you feel like you are in paradise. Its blissful. It’s fun. It’s exciting to learn new things and to see what you have in common with someone new. Spending quality time and getting to know someone as a potential partner is like a job interview. Everyone is showing and proving to you why they should get the job.

None the less, when getting to know someone always be mindful and cautious. Watch for red flags. Never ignore them. It’s very important to pay attention and watch behaviors. Never get so caught up in the bliss you ignore the red flags. When you are in the beginning stages of meeting and getting to know someone, you should always have deal breakers and most importantly set boundaries.

Eventually, the paradise is over. Once they get the job. The reality of who the person is eventually come to light. The representative of who you thought they were is gone. It doesn’t take long for a person to show you who they are, no one can continue to be representative forever.

When a person show you who they are one time, believe them. Trust your instinct and gut feeling. When you notice red flags, trust your intuition, never suppress it. Start your plan to remove the person from your life.

The more you use and trust your intuition, the stronger it will be.

Keep in mind men are abused by women as well, but victims are predominantly female. It’s important to know the characteristics and traits of an abuser. It’s also important to do what’s best for you and your protection. Never settle for disrespect. You don’t have to live in fear.

The characteristics of an abuser are typically:


  1. Charming-An abuser is charming because that have they want to make it seems like it’s all about you. When really it’s not in the end. They will say all the right things that you want to hear. The abuser will rush the relationship.
  2. Manipulative– The abuser will focus on your weak spots and take advantage of it. They will pray on your vulnerabilities and use it to their advantage. They criticize you for every little thing.
  3. Controlling- The abuser will try to control everything in your life. They will monitor your phone, control who you speak with and where you go. Prevents or discourages you from seeing friends or family, or going to work or school.
  4. Plays the Victim-The abuser will always act like they are the vicim. It’s everyone else not them. They will never own their actions. They will blame the victim for his/her violent outbursts.
  5. Jealous– The abuser is threatened by everyone. They are jealous of anyone who they feel can threaten the relationship, whether it’s friend or family member. They will keep track of what you are doing all the time. And they will constantly accuse you of being unfaithful.
  6. Narcissistic– Narcissistic people are the worst. Everything is about them and what is important to them. Nothing matters but their concerns, issues, and problems. They are self centered and egotistical.
  7. Mood Swings– Abusers tend to be moody and unpredictable. They may be nice one minute and the next minute explosive. Explosiveness and mood swings are typical of men who beat and abuse their partners.
  8. Repeat Offender– The abuser will repeat the same behavior. For example, if he/she hit you. He/she may say I will never do it again and does it again. It’s a constant cycle that never seems to end.
  9. Disconnected– Many abusers want to disconnect the victim from their family. They want their partner to live in isolation. Just focusing on them alone.
  10. Family History of Violence -Many abusers have seen their parents or someone close to them abused. It has a long term affect on their life. Which is often not for the best.

The characteristics are real. Please watch all the red flags. Never ignore them. As, we must do all we can to protect everyone domestic violence. If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233 or visit their website to chat online 24/7.

Images: Canva

References:

CBN

ILRC